Like Hell I'm Loose

So I'm stuck on the couch. Starting a blog.

Why am I stuck on the couch you ask....well that would be because I am accident prone. It is also what happens when you take a tumble down a flight of stairs.

The doctor told me that he figured it out....I am loose.
"Loose! How dare you say I am Loose! I have not made a single advance towards you and I am modestly clothed in my t-shirt and pants. You are the one that requested I lift the leg of my pants so you could check out my leg. Loose....where do you get off."

Then he explained. I have loose joints, that would be why I tend to fall ALL THE TIME. So its not because I'm absent minded, flaky, and just plain stupid. I finally have the answer:
"America, I am Loose and I'm proud to say it.....proud only because now I have a response to all my friends who make fun of my constant need for pain. I finally have an excuse...its my parents fault....so can I get a doctor's note to prove this?"

My looseness has provided me with many stories to fill this blog with, the first being the freshest in my mind.

Oh Hawaii....beautiful Hawaii, the site of this unfortunate accident. Here it is the 7th day of our trip, my son wakes up at 5am.....stupid time change. All I can think is I need to get him into bed with us and make him go back to sleep. Next thing I know BAM! I'm at the bottom of the stairs with the knowledge that what just happened is going to mean surgery. Although silly me, thinking I was so smart having that knowledge, I did not realize that it would mean TWO surgeries....yes this is the second try at fixing the problem. I will say that the hospitals in Hawaii are quick and efficient. If, or should I say when I have another Emergency Room visit I would like to go back to that one. See on day seven we were planning to drive across the island and go on a helicopter tour over the volcano. At the latest we had to leave at 7:15, so while I sat in the Emergency Room I asked if this was going to be possible (keep in mind my accident happened at 5am). Sure, they said, we will try to get you out in time but you do know it's a 2-hour drive to get to the other side and you have seriously screwed up your leg. I understood and I was up for it....far be it from me to have ANOTHER vacation screwed up by my looseness. As I was getting into the car a nurse came running out and handed me some pain pills. "You are GOING to need these. Thanks, I said and off we went.

FYI, it was NOT worth the trip.